My eldest tried out for gymnastics team. It was a harrowing, friend filled adventure for two full hours, at the end of a long week. And she did great! She was able to at try everything the coach asked of her and was cheerful and upbeat through the whole process. And she succeeded, I thought.
She is ranked a level 3, could be 4, when previously she was a level 2! Sounds like success to me. But apparently not to her. She wants to be a 4. Prior to this evening she was aiming for level 3, what happened? I guess she decided to try for more.
Here I have been encouraging trying and she pulls out a super big try, at the wrong time. It is a big jump, a huge commitment and exhausting parent driving schedule. But she is determined to try harder now. What's a mom to do?
As a parent, I try to offer my young children a wide variety of extra activities and opportunities. But I also remember that this is their life, not mine. I do not live vicariously through them. I have to be prepared for them to fail. How can I prepare myself for the potential and inevitable failure? How do I prepare them to fail and learn from the failure?
I am not saying she will fail as a gymnast, especially if this effort continues. What she has the potential to fail at, or rather succeed at is burning herself out. She already has ballet, jazz, and dance troupe, these take up three hours a week of lessons. And this is the off season for theater and other sports. Adding level 4 gymnastics will add another possible six hours of practices a week. Not to mention scheduling conflicts.
In today's world of over scheduled children, she is heading deep into disaster, either hers or mine. Family dinners, after school play time, and relaxing weekends in pajamas all will be sacrificed for homework done in the back seat, sparkly expensive outfits and slews of small travel activities to entertain waiting sisters. She will gain confidence, make new lasting friends, learn discipline and the rewards of hard work. I will drive the mom taxi, pinch my pennies, and buy more convenience foods. And I will seek out quiet moments with my children to enjoy who they each are becoming.
I will have to try.